Wordpreneur.com

BY DAWN ARKIN

ATTENTION!

Listen up, Creative Soldiers! My name is Staff Sergeant Arkin. While you are here I will try to give you the information you’ll need to turn your rough draft into polished prose.

So, you’ve written a story? You’ve created characters, given them a purpose and obstacles to overcome, and you’ve crafted an ending sure to make any editor scream for more! But, is it ready to send out??

We will see.

First you need to check for the 9 Most Unnecessary Words.

Is and the rest of the to be family: am, are, was, were, will be, have, has, had been, will have been and be. While it may be the preferred verb, rewriting usually shortens and enlivens the sentence.

• Carmen was walking down the alley.
• Carmen walked down the alley.

There: Almost every time you see there, a to be verb is right behind. Get rid of both and add a more descriptive verb.

• There is something strange around here.
• Something strange lurks here.

To: Sometimes this adds baggage and makes the sentence drag along. But it’s also needed at times.

• She was starting to feel sick.
• Her stomach turned.

And: When editing this word, be careful. You can change the meaning of the sentence by removing ‘and’. Always consider the alternatives first.

• She looked at me and laughed.
• She looked at me, laughing.
• She laughed at me.
• She laughed.

By: Can be unnecessary, depending on what you are saying. Always read the sentence out loud to be sure you need it.

• He was followed by a dark and mysterious stranger.
• A dark and mysterious stranger followed him.

His and similar possessives: Extra possessives can slow a story down, or even halt it. Especially when there is more than one character in the scene.

• He turned, his eyes glowing.
• He turned, eyes glowing.

That: While we use that in almost all our daily conversations, it can slow our writing down considerably.

• I knew that he was a dangerous man.
• I knew he was a dangerous man.

The: Most of the time you’ll need it, but be sure. See if it really is necessary in all of your sentences.

• The windows slammed shut behind him.
• Windows slammed shut behind him.

Of: Can usually be removed. In most cases, it just adds words without adding meaning.

• She was getting married in the month of April.
• She was getting married in April.

Now, you’re finished, right? Maybe not. While these little words can add more than you want, taking away life from your story, another danger may be lurking in your story.

Modifiers: The dreaded –ly words are difficult to avoid, but if you do, your story will come to life. They can be used in short stories, but use sparingly.

• She ran quickly down the hall.
• She darted down the hall.

My last suggestion, Creative Soldiers, is to read your story out loud, either to yourself or someone you trust. I have found if I hear my words spoken, I catch more unnecessary words.

Now, drop and give me 20, paragraphs that is.

Dawn Arkin is an author on Writing.com, an online comunity for writers. Check out her portfolio.

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